Preventing Child Abuse Through Safe, Nurturing Child-Adult Relationships

April 17, 2024

Recognizing Signs of Child Abuse and Neglect

Despite the prevalence of the “stranger danger” myth, research finds that at least 90 percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known to the child or the child’s family. This statistic only serves to underscore the importance of recognizing any signs of abuse or neglect your child is displaying—or any signs from parents or adult figures.

The child:

Shows sudden changes in behavior or academic performance
Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents’ attention
Has learning problems that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
Is always watchful, acts like they are preparing for something bad
Lacks adult supervision
Is overly compliant, an overachiever, or too responsible
Comes to school early, stays late, or doesn’t want to go home
Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, or black eyes
Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school
Seems frightened of specific adults or caregivers
Shrinks at the approach of adults

The adult:

Shows little concern for the child
Doesn’t respond to school requests for information, conferences, or home visits
Denies the existence of—or blames the child—for any problems at school or at home
Asks educators to use harsh physical discipline
Sees the child as bad, worthless, or burdensome
Demands perfection or a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, or satisfaction of emotional needs
Offers conflicting or unconvincing explanation for a child’s injury
Describes the child as “evil” or in another negative way
Uses harsh physical discipline
Has a history of abuse as a child themselves

As an adult, it is your responsibility to protect children from dangerous or abusive situations. In North Carolina, it’s required by law that adults must report any suspected child abuse, neglect, or maltreatment. To report, you don’t need any proof that maltreatment has occurred—you only need reasonable cause to suspect such an event.

If you suspect child abuse or neglect, call the Onslow County Department of Social Services (DSS) at (910) 455-4145.

Developing Healthy and Nurturing Child-Adult Relationships

As a parent, caregiver, or safe and stable adult in a child’s life, it is your responsibility to understand opportunities to reduce risk factors and strengthen protective factors. Preventing child abuse includes a few key elements:

Practice safe and calm discipline

If this means you need to take a moment to center yourself or cool down before talking to your child, take the time you need. Giving yourself time to cool off is an effective strategy to prevent punishment in anger or other inflammatory emotions. Angry or punishing language can leave emotional scars—so if you begin to feel frustrated, take a break.

For families in North Carolina, Triple P is a positive parenting program that offers positive ideas and strategies to help raise confident, happy kids, manage misbehavior, set rules and routines, and improve parenting skills. You can work through the materials at your own pace—any time, anywhere. Click here to learn more.

Ask questions and listen attentively

Whether you’re a parent or caregiver, or just a safe adult in a child’s life, ask them questions about their day and listen carefully to what they say. Be alert to any changes in their behavior or emotions. Do you see anything out of the ordinary?

Teach safe body boundaries

Teaching bodily autonomy and boundaries at an early age results in an empowered child—one who feels confident in setting boundaries, saying “no,” and being in touch with their body. To encourage your child to embrace healthy body boundaries, keep these tips in mind:

Ask the child for permission before touching them. Say things like, “Is it okay if I give you a hug?” If the child is nonverbal, communicate your intent clearly by letting them know what you’re going to do. For example, you might say, “I’m going to put your coat on so you’re ready to go to school.”
Be direct and transparent about body parts. Avoid using cutesy or covert words to describe a child’s genitals. By using anatomical words, it gives children the permission to talk honestly about their body, avoiding feelings of shame or discomfort.
Let the child know they’re in control of their body. Never force a child to accept hugs or unwanted physical contact—even from relatives or immediate family members.
Read our blog for more information on how to discuss body boundaries with your child.

Other Resources

Darkness to Light, Stewards of Children®: Stewards of Children is a trauma- and evidence-informed training that teaches adults how to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse. The program is designed primarily for adults working or volunteering in youth-serving organizations or activities, however, it is applicable and helpful for all adults. One Place offers frequent Darkness to Light trainings. Visit our training calendar here to learn more.

Positive Childhood Alliance NC (Formerly Prevent Child Abuse NC): Provided free of charge thanks to support from the North Carolina Division of Social Services, Prevent Child Abuse NC offers two self-guided courses for adults.

What is Prevention? This course is designed for professionals and volunteers working with children and families and anyone else interested in learning more about preventing child abuse and neglect before it happens. This is a free course that will take approximately 1 hour to complete.

Recognizing and Responding to Suspicions of Child Maltreatment: This course teaches citizens and professionals the signs and symptoms of child abuse and neglect, what to do if you suspect maltreatment, and what happens after a report is made. This is a free course that will take approximately 2 hours to complete.

To learn more about how you can help end child abuse in Onslow County, follow our social media channels for more resources and conversation.