Building a Foundation for Resilience: What Parents Should Know 

While parenting is one of the most joyful and transformative times in life, it comes with a unique—and often overwhelming—set of challenges and stressors. 

Building your own resilience as a parent sets the foundation for the rest of your child’s life. From articulating their own emotions to feeling supported by a parent or caregiver, developing your own parental resilience has a cascading effect on your child’s entire trajectory. 

Keep reading to learn how to build resilience in your family and set your child up for success. 

What is Parental Resilience? 

Understanding resilience as a concept is the first step to building a strong foundation. Resilience, in a nutshell, is your ability to bounce back from difficult situations, manage your reactions to stress, and function well—even when bad things happen.

Luckily, however, resilience is not something you are innately born with. Instead, resilience is a skill you can build throughout your life. 

How to Build A Foundation for Resilience as a Parent 

Understanding the Five Protective Factors 

The Five Protective Factors serve as the foundation of the Center for the Study of Social Policy’s Strengthening Families framework—and the crux of many of our teachings in the One Place Foundations for Resilience programs. 

Research shows that when the Five Protective Factors framework is used by families, it reduces the possibility of child abuse and neglect and develops a family environment that promotes optimal child and youth development. 

The Five Protective Factors include: 

• Parental Resilience 

• Social Connections 

• Concrete Support in Times of Need 

• Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development 

• Social and Emotional Competence of Children 

Incorporating the Five Protective Factors in Your Daily Routines

Parental Resilience

Resilience is a lifelong skill that parents and adults can gradually develop over time and through stressful situations. While parenting is one of the most joyful and impactful experiences you can have in life, it comes with many inevitable stressors and challenges. 

Your response to these stressors is far more important to your child’s growth and development than the stressors themselves. Common stressors may include major life events (such as moving or a new job), unexpected life events (such as death or loss of a job), poor relationships or isolation (such as divorce or separation), lack of support or social services, children with high needs or behavioral challenges, substance abuse history, past trauma, or pervasive abuse (either in or out of the home). 

As you build the flexibility and strength to bounce back when life is challenging, you’re able to better protect your child from stress—and model critical self-regulation and problem-solving skills. 

Consider the following when developing your resiliency toolkit: 

• How do you care for yourself on a day-to-day basis? The expression of “putting your oxygen mask on first before those around you” might sound cliché—but it’s true. Find something you can do to care for yourself and you can support those around you better. Consider allowing your kids a little extra screen time, or encouraging your older children to do more household chores, so you have time to exercise, meditate, write in your journey, watch your favorite TV show, or call a friend. 
• How often do you practice gratitude? Maintaining a sense of hope and optimism for the future can help build resilience over time. When times feel particularly overwhelming or tough, consider jotting down some of the things you’re grateful for—and what you’re looking forward to in the future.
• How do you create moments of connection with your children? Checking in with your children at the end of the day is a great way to foster connection and closeness. Ask them how they’re feeling or what they enjoyed about their day. 

Social Connections 

Raising strong, resilient children takes a village—and staying connected with those in your village is critical for a healthy foundation. While it can be difficult to maintain connections during busy seasons of life, it’s an important step to take for your family. 

• Connect with the people you care about at least once a day if you can. Even just sending a quick text message or talking on the phone for 10-15 minutes can provide a greater sense of connection and community. 
• Set up playdates—for kids and parents! Get to know other parents in your community and ask to set up playdates or coffee dates. This is a great way for parents to build social connections while your children also enjoy time together.

Concrete Support 

Community resources—like One Place!—exist for a reason. Everyone needs help from time to time. Get acquainted with local resources, services, and benefits available to your community and determine if anything sounds particularly helpful for your needs right now. 

If you’re concerned about your own mental health—or a loved one’s mental health—contact your local health provider or call 211 for information on how to access therapy. 

At One Place, one of our goals is to connect families and early educators with the tools and resources needed to help every child grow and thrive. From referrals to high-quality child care to supporting new military families in Onslow County, we aim to serve as a wealth of resources for parents, including: 

• Statewide Care Network, NCCARE360 
• Military Family Resources 
• Health and Safety Resources 
• Online Parenting Tools 

Click here to access our available Family Resources. 

Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development 

As a parent, understanding different parenting styles and your child’s development can be a helpful tool. Consider adding regular routines to your schedule. Toddlers, for instance, thrive with regular mealtimes, play time, bath time, and bed times. 

If you live in North Carolina, you can access the Triple P Positive Parenting Program for free. The platform is designed to help parents develop skills, strategies, and confidence to handle any parenting situation that may arise.

Other helpful resources include Zero to Three, Childhood Milestones Tracker, and our blog.

Social and Emotional Competence

During the first few years, particularly during the first 2,000 days, of your child’s life, their social-emotional health and competence begins to grow and evolve. They start to acquire different social and emotional skills, such as experiencing and expressing emotions, identifying and understanding their feelings, assessing and understanding the emotions of others, and establishing relationships with both children and adults. 

Supporting your child’s emotional health can be achieved in a few key ways: 

• Build strong, trusting relationships with adults and teachers. When your child has a significant person who is present and available, it helps them develop resilience, feel comfortable sharing their worries, and freely ask for help. 
• Be consistent. As a parent or an adult in a child’s life, consistency in your behavior helps build social-emotional resilience and contribute to stronger mental health. Be warm and affectionate. 
• Create a safe environment at home. Stay mindful of your child’s access to media, such as TV shows, movies, video games, and the internet. Provide opportunities for age-appropriate entertainment. 
• Model self-care and self-love. As a parent or caregiver, try to be a role model for your child. Care for yourself openly, talk transparently about feelings and emotions, and show your child that you make time to practice self-care. 

Our Impact 

One Place is committed to developing new resources for parents and caregivers in Onslow County. By educating families and caregivers on the importance of social-emotional development and building resilience within your family structure, children are better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of life. 

Learn more about our available resources for parents and caregivers here.